Turn-Offs

As a single person, I have encountered a few things that are just really turn-offs. They're not necessarily deal breakers, but when the person I'm dating does them, it makes my blood pressure go up or my bile level rise slightly, or both. Not great reactions, I'll grant you, but sometimes you have to take some superficial things you don't like in order to get a heart of gold you do like.

I decided to make a list, in case it will help me later.

1.  Spitting in public.
I think this is gross. Especially if you hack first. It is particularly nearing unpardonable if you happen to spit /across/ me in order to get your spit to the ground in the place you are aiming for. What if you miss? Eew. Just, eew.

2.  Calling me "dude" or "man" on a frequent basis.
I am not a dude. I am not a man. Even dudes do not like to be "dude-ed." I know, because I did it once to someone I was dating without even realizing what I had done, and he immediately called me on it. I'm not saying it's a turn-off to all of them, but it is a little casual and also not accurate (in my case).

3.  Wearing flip-flops year round.
I know this is slightly ridiculous, and truly peevish. But if your uniform is flip flops, shorts, and an (optional) sweatshirt, even when it's snowing, I'm not interested. (This was more of a problem when I was in college. Now, most people I'm remotely interested in do not dress like this. It could also be a function of where I live.)

4.  Commenting on how much a date does (or doesn't) cost while we are out.
If you planned the date, then you probably had an idea of how much it would cost to go out before we actually got out. I am a moderate person. I generally do not order the most expensive thing on the menu, just kind of out of principle, even though sometimes it does sound the very best. Please do not comment on how poor you will be after the date while we are on the date. This has happened to me many, many times and I just think to myself, "We don't have to be here. You didn't have to choose this restaurant. We could have gone somewhere free, and I wouldn't have cared. But now I think that you don't like it here, and you don't like being with me, and I'm a burden." Who wants to be a burden? Besides, talking about money matters at dinner, especially in initial courtship phase, is just in poor taste.

5. Always telling me what to do.
This needs no further explanation. I realize men like to solve problems! I do. But you can solve problems without talking down to me.

FFF

It occurs to me, on this F-is-for-Friday night, that the bulk of all my culinary wants can be categorized in the triple-F category:

Fat
Fiber
Fructose

I think if I could only ever eat three things, triple F is what I would eat. (If you wanted to be very lawyery and say that "bacon" does not fall in the "fat" category, I might have to file a countersuit. But I believe any reasonable fairy godmother granting three food wishes would let me have bacon as a fat, all leafy greens (and other things) for fiber, and all fruits for lettuces.

Sometimes it's better to be broader in your language so that you can let more of the good stuff in. I've discovered that life often tastes better that way.

Bits of Honey at Breakfast

A recent breakfast conversation:

K: "Mom, have I ever eaten any candy you didn't want me to eat?"
W (her mom): "You do that all the time."
K: "No, not like that! Candy that you think is super disgusting."
--pause--
W: "Bit o Honeys."
Me: *shudder of horror* "Yes! Bit o Honeys!"
K: "What are "Bit o Honeys?"
W: "They're candies that taste disgusting. When we were kids, nobody wanted to eat them at Halloween. All of us (her and her siblings) would eat everything else and then the icky Bit o Honeys would be all that was left."
K: "Why are they disgusting?"
A (her dad): Because they're made with only a little bit o honey!"
K: "Yeah"
--then, with all the derision a ten year old can muster--
"I bet they are made with PASTEURIZED honey!"
W, looking at A: "Wow, we have successfully raised food snobs, haven't we?" in between bursts of laughter. K looked extremely pleased with herself that she had managed to amuse the whole table so easily. 

Then, a couple of minutes later:

K: "Mom, what is pasteurization?"


---
Note: K had heard several times from her mom and other families of the health benefits of eating raw honey. She knew raw honey was superior, but hadn't yet picked up on all the nuances of exactly /why/ it is preferable. I am proud of her that she asked, later, why pasteurization is not preferable when choosing honey products, instead of just assuming that because someone said it is superior that it is, just because they said so.

This House of Sky

There's nothing like the beautiful sky of the Pacific Northwest.

Recently I took a trip northwester in the northwest. The sky was low, and the clouds were heavy, but it didn't rain all day.

There were two ferry rides and two pieces of pizza and two kids and two galleries and two museums.

There was also a a sketch artist and a Victorian costume festival and and five adults and one lighting museum and three galleries.

Furthermore, there were wet plants, gun batteries more than a hundred years old, pitch-black tunnels to wander in.

I even saw a whale on the ferry ride home. The thing about whale watching is that your eyes think that the whale is going to come up exactly in the same place that it did before. Even if your eyes track the direction it's going, depending on how fast the vehicle you're in is going, your eyes will never be able to accurately predict where the blowhole plume will appear next.

Green rocks and a thousand seagulls jabbering at each other as they floated along the swiftly moving current were also highlights. The light is beautiful. The old houses of the Port towns are beautiful. The northwest sky is just amazingly gorgeous. No filters. It fills me with such contentment to walk by the water. I hope you feel even a little of the joy I felt as you look at the pictures.