I love many people in my life. Thank you, all of you, who love me back, who provide me support when I'm weak, help me laugh when I'm strong, and carry me when I feel like I can't go another emotional step on my journey.
One of my favorite people on the earth is gravely ill. I feel helpless, like one grain of sand being tossed about in the ocean, and yet I have hope that I and my loved ones will make it to the shore and will be made into a beautiful sandcastle someday, all living together.
One of my other favorite people on earth is a brave warrior, learning vast amounts of knowledge, making critical decisions daily, staying strong for her greatest love. Caregiving is hard. So hard. I only have a taste of it, and I am not sure I could carry myself forward with the fortitude and determination she carries with every step she takes. Then again, our minds, bodies, and spirits are resilient things. God made us so we could adapt, and I know He is helping her to be strong in the face of the leech/storm that is cancer.
Heaven seems so far from hospitals. It's hard to feel God's love in a such a sterile, beeping, somehow toxic environment. I walked by several rooms yesterday and saw no loving hands holding, no soft love whispers, no person attentively listening to a treatment plan. It made me feel sad to think of all these people in the ICU who had no one to come visit them. At all. And more grateful that I have people who will come - running, or flying - when I call for help.
Hope and peace is what we need. That, and a miracle. It's hard sometimes to say "whatever will be will be" or "it is what it is" or "It's in God's hands now." We always have been in God's hands. It's just that sometimes we are more aware that he could squeeze a little, molding us in not-so-subtle ways.And that's not always easy to accept. Right now I'm not liking being squeezed so much.
R, I love you. J, I love you. Stay strong. Hold on.
Monday, June 21, 2010
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Crow vs Robin
On my way home from work today, I was a little startled when a large crow swerved and did a tight coil and landed about eight feet in front of me - in the road. (Those of you who know me know how much I dislike birds, but that is another post.) The point of this post is to document what happened next: a very skinny robin,** cheeping loudly, dive-bombed the crow. The crow, not having any of this insurgent behavior, immediately took off after the robin.
The robin alighted on the branch of a tree, unseen, and the crow landed on the grass, walking cockily up and down. There were several quail nearby, as well. The robin continued to cheep angrily, while the crow pretended not to listen (reminds me of some past interactions with some sisters of mine, but that is also for another post). The crow proceeded to bully a nearby pigeon, causing it to fly away, across the street, by where I was. By now I had stopped and was just watching, carefully. The crow gave the air of not being ruffled, but it really was, and walked over to bully a few more pigeons.
One pigeon, who had just decided to fly from a (safe) branch to the ground, decided it didn't want to be too close to the crow, but was too close to the ground before it could make up its mind and ended up doing a belly flop. I seriously have never seen a bird belly flop, but it did. Rather ungainly looking; I hope I never have occasion to see it happen again.
The robin dive-bombed again. And again. The crow was clearly getting annoyed and was taking it out on the pigeons, snapping at them. The robin decided to give it one more try, squawking madly the entire time, but the crow had had enough, and went aloft, the robin in hot pursuit. Only the crow, being more wily, took a sharp turn and the robin missed and went to hang out on a branch, clearly aiming to do better next time.
Meanwhile, the crow ruffled itself and went back to terrorizing the pigeons. I left with the robin circling, still making noise, and the crow still trying to assert dominance. I wonder what the robin was so hot and bothered about.
Oh birdbrains, how I love you. You provide such entertainment.
**Perhaps in an effort to go 'green' it had given up on worms - I am used to ugly fat robins, so this one practically looked emaciated, but was really just on the slim side...
The robin alighted on the branch of a tree, unseen, and the crow landed on the grass, walking cockily up and down. There were several quail nearby, as well. The robin continued to cheep angrily, while the crow pretended not to listen (reminds me of some past interactions with some sisters of mine, but that is also for another post). The crow proceeded to bully a nearby pigeon, causing it to fly away, across the street, by where I was. By now I had stopped and was just watching, carefully. The crow gave the air of not being ruffled, but it really was, and walked over to bully a few more pigeons.
One pigeon, who had just decided to fly from a (safe) branch to the ground, decided it didn't want to be too close to the crow, but was too close to the ground before it could make up its mind and ended up doing a belly flop. I seriously have never seen a bird belly flop, but it did. Rather ungainly looking; I hope I never have occasion to see it happen again.
The robin dive-bombed again. And again. The crow was clearly getting annoyed and was taking it out on the pigeons, snapping at them. The robin decided to give it one more try, squawking madly the entire time, but the crow had had enough, and went aloft, the robin in hot pursuit. Only the crow, being more wily, took a sharp turn and the robin missed and went to hang out on a branch, clearly aiming to do better next time.
Meanwhile, the crow ruffled itself and went back to terrorizing the pigeons. I left with the robin circling, still making noise, and the crow still trying to assert dominance. I wonder what the robin was so hot and bothered about.
Oh birdbrains, how I love you. You provide such entertainment.
**Perhaps in an effort to go 'green' it had given up on worms - I am used to ugly fat robins, so this one practically looked emaciated, but was really just on the slim side...
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