Once Upon a (Beach) Time

Once upon a time, a mom and her girl went to the beach. The purpose of the trip was a vacation for the mom, and a working trip for the daughter. They drove to the coast late one night and listened to songs that soothed the daughter and made the mom wonder what in the heck her child was listening to. (With a few exceptions.)

The daughter worked in between bouts of extreme ear disease, wherein she lay near expiration on the bed while the mother, being a mom, took care of her offspring.

When the daughter was working, the mother borrowed said daughter's car and drove up and down the coast, seeing what there was to see, stopping where there were places to stop, and generally enjoying herself.

In some places there were outcroppings of rock. In others, there was plenty of foam. 

In yet other places, there were trees mostly blocking the view, which made for dramatic photo settings.

Seafoam's like the sea's whipped cream...except whipped cream shouldn't hiss.

One day, the daughter left work and decided to go to the state park with her mom. It was late in the day, but they wanted to make every minute count. Although they couldn't see the tide pools, they drove down to see the lighthouse anyway.

The daughter had been so intent on going to play that she forgot to take her name tag off, and as it was cold and time was short, she didn't notice until it was too late and the white blob was in all the pictures.  

Oh well. At least she's labeled!

The fog around them was fast and thick, moving not with little cat feet, but with slithery snakiness. From the time these two pictures were taken, no more than five minutes had elapsed. The lighthouse went from being picturesque to fulfilling its purpose while they were there -- if you look hard, you can see the beacon of light at the top of the house.

The mom and daughter had been having a discussion about this blog. The mother told the daughter that implied presence was very important. (They had a discussion about proper office decor. It was a suitable segue.) The mom wanted to be the implied presence for the rest of the photos.

Here's the mother's implied presence.

Then they went to dinner, and had calamari and crab cakes, some prawn delicious salad (the daughter found that although prawn are tolerable, it was really the rest of the salad that was magnificent), and some Brazilian stew concoction with coconut milk. They shared with each other. :) (The mother said the crab cakes were in her Top Five Ever.)

Thank you, Yelp, and Local Seafood, for helping them achieve this yumminess.

The pair shopped in bed in the hotel room (a surprisingly fun novelty). They evaluated crockpots and used a color/frame wheel to put their favorite prints with the very best combinations of framing combinations. They ate salad out of plastic containers and pre-peeled boiled eggs. The daughter ate vast quantities of potato chips and the mom ate lots of everything else.

This just goes to show you that while you can lead by example, you can only lead a horse (daughter) to healthy food; you can't make her drink (partake).

On their way out of town, they spied a tree that had been trimmed to avoid the telephone/electricity poles. And they stopped at a little gallery. Black and gold bowls and glass intricacies caught the mother's fancy, and a series of oils of the coast were the focus of the daugher's experience. There was also the ultimately comfortable rocking chair for the mother, which was not the most comfortable rocking chair experience ever for the daughter (unsurprising), and there were an awful lot of contemporary abstract lamenesses, regardless of whose point of view you take.

The daughter was so enchanted with the oils that she bought not just one, but two. She had them wrapped, like Mallow and Wallow, and they are still bundled safe in their little cradles of bubble wrap, in anticipation of next week's move.

Another road trip, another set of experiences, and another beach comb behind them, mother and daughter are now on to the next adventure.

What's next? Stay tuned to find out. (The story won't be on the 11 o'clock news. These things take more time to develop than the next headline.)

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

The first time I saw a version of The Hobbit I think I was in sixth grade and we watched the animated version in school. It was supremely boring and I wanted to fall asleep.

I didn't read the book until I was perhaps sixteen, maybe seventeen. I read it out of obligation, to be honest. It was one of those "should read" books, like a Dostoevsky. (Sorry to all you D fans.) I remember trying to figure out the "teeth" riddle as I read it before I read ahead, and I'm sorry to say that riddles are just not a strength of mine and I would have had a gleeful song sung over me by Gollum and been eaten up if it had been me in Bilbo's place.

The Unexpected Journey portion came out at Christmas, but I didn't have time to see it then. I wanted to see it later, but never got around to it until March. I went to see it with a friend in a very odd setting...an observatory IMAX. So the screen, though huge, was curved at weird angles and half the time I felt like I was floating. The other half, my eyes were trying too hard to focus and nearly made me sick.

I was thinking of the movie for days after:
* The dwarves theme song, which we are introduced to in Bag End, when they have solemned out after their food binge, particularly hung with me. The dark, sad, deep humming haunted me. It made me think of days when everybody knew the same songs and sang together, spontaneously. Nobody needed to cajole or beg or play modest or make excuses of "I can't sing." Everybody just did it; it was part of life; a way of entertainment, of building community;
* the goblin king looked a little too much like Jabba the Hutt for my realistic capabilities;
* the dark orc and the light orc sounded exactly alike, and how cheesy they made him (Azog) look;
* the "thunder fight" in the mountain pass;
* the white warg, and Elvish blades;
* the humor with which they did some scenes, particularly the 'play' between Smeagol and Gollum, and how well Bilbo handled the situation;
* how mad I was that they made Radagast the Brown look like an idiot; it was like they were trying to copy Jar Jar Binks or something. Utterly ridiculous;
* and wrinkles on immortal elves. To their credit, the actors aged well, but ten years weighs on anyone and it just wasn't the same; and
* Richard Armitage could probably even rock a real Dwarf beard. Of this, I am convinced. (See CCC post.)

I watched it again tonight. It seemed darker, and the humor more bleak than I remembered. Perhaps it was my underlying mood; perhaps I was just more enthralled the first time. ('Twould be unsurprising if that was the case.)

I got the movie from Redbox. My first ever. It made me think of Two Ace. :)

It's time for bed. Past time. But I just had to say that the world Tolkien created has taken me on an unexpected journey. I learned more about myself from reading the quad than I have from almost any other book...it was a felicitous combination of being in the right place, the right time, and the right frame of mind when I read them for maximum positive impact. I'll always be grateful I read it, and  look forward to the next part of the now-expected journey.

Birthday

Today's my long-time bestie's natal day.

Lots of people are upset about birthdays, especially when they get older, and it's not so much about the presents you get, but the fact that you're moving on in life. Maybe it's that they're not a fan of wrinkles. Maybe they're upset that they haven't been more productive with their time. Maybe it's a day of reminders to make them wish they'd made different choices and they could just rewind.

I haven't really been a fan of my own birthday for many years. I admit...I'm sneaky about it. I try not to mention it to people not in the family, and it's not on fb. I've even resorted to reverting to calendar years when I think about how old I am, and even tell people that I'm the year I will be turning, just so I won't have to do the mental calculation to figure it out.

On the other hand, my "new year" resolutions generally go by natal year. Last year was the "year of Me." I did really great for about the first six months and after that all my good intentions kind of went by the wayside. "Me" year was supposed to be building up myself, literally (going to the gym to rid myself of Pre-RS-arm syndrome) and figuratively, by broadening/deepening my confidence, my skill sets, and my ability to make decisions.

But I digress...as I usually do.

The point is: birthdays are not about you...exactly. They're about celebrating the fact that you have been able to spend another year with people who care about you.

CCC

When I was in third grade, my teacher put "CCC" up on the board. She was trying to teach us about acronyms. It worked because we tried to think of CCC's all day and none of them were correct for most of the day...and I still remember what happened. We'd been creative all day, to no avail, and finally, one of the boys in the class shouted, "chocolate chip cookies!" The teacher had made a batch of CCC's and we happily devoured them because back when I was a young'un we didn't worry about if fellow classmates (or teachers) had poisoned the cookies.

I'm not going to talk about those CCC's though.

Today's CCC is...Catalog of Celebrity Crushes

Yep. You read it right.

In order to be eligible for the CCC, I have to think you're dreamy for more than two months and I have to have taken the trouble to look for you again, whether it's by watching another game, movie or another TV series or another movie you've starred in.

Starting with most recent, going back to graduate school days.

 ID: Ian Somerhalder

Crush Date: Dec 2012-March 2013

Claim to Celebrity: Actor

How We Met: He's a snarky, witty bad-boy vampire who has way better chemistry with the silly fool of a heroine than the other person vying for her love. (It turns out he's actually dating his co-star in real life. No wonder!) He has a really bad camera smirk, and is completely unphotogenic when he tries to smile.

 
ID: Brandon Crawford 

Crush Date: 8/12-12/12

Claim to Celebrity: Professional athlete

How We Met: Shortstop of the SF Giants on their winning 2012 WS squad. Even his teammates think he's dreamy. I think it's endearing that he:

(a) is married; 

(b) let his wife's sister crash with them in their one bedroom apartment before he hit the big time; and

(c) gets to live his lifelong dream of playing on the field where he fell in love with baseball. 

 

ID: Adam Levine

Crush Date: Fall 2011-Present

Claim to Celebrity: Singer, Reality TV

How We Met: Lead singer of Maroon 5 and judge on the Voice. I liked his voice years before I saw his face, which was actually not on a cover or on the Voice. I "met" him on a Hulu ad for ADHD. He's fine for a guy with a high voice. ;)

ID: Chris Hemsworth
Crush Date: 2011-2012
Claim to Celebrity: Actor
How We Met: Oh, Summer 2011...amid all the heartache, you brought me eye candy. (You should see him when he's smiling. It makes me melt, so I couldn't put a smile up here.) God of Thunder, your weird shoulder pads do nothing to deter from your aesthetic awesomeness. He even did the cougar'ed thing and married someone several years his senior. His only drawback is that he sounds uncannily like Heath Ledger, and looks an awful lot like him, too. (Which isn't bad. Just...disconcerting, considering.)


 
ID: Taylor Kitsch
Crush Date: 2008-2012

Claim to Celebrity: Actor, model
How We Met: He was the uber bad bad BAD boy on Friday Night Lights that you couldn't help but to fall for anyway. The one that was so tough and had so many problems but had an innate vulnerability that was completely irresistible. For a Canadian, he does Texas well.

ID: Sidney Crosby
Crush Date: May 08-May 10
Claim to Celebrity: Professional Athlete
How We Met: Run for the Cup in 2008 w/ Rosc. 

I adored you, Sid, for oh so long -- your flash and panache as you made big moves, your on-ice swagger, your rookie hothead days. But then you basically fell asleep during the Olympics only to wake up in the last 90 seconds of overtime in the final game and make one key play. I would have loved you so much more if you'd put your heart in every minute.

ID: Matt Bomer:
Crush Date: 2008-Present.
Claim to Celebrity: Actor
How We Met: He was Chuck's nemesis who was actually a good guy. I was sad when he was ousted off the show...but overjoyed when I found out he was getting his *own!* Just watch the opening credits of White Collar - and then pause it when you see the snippet of him with the excited look on his face after he successfully steals a car. I dare you not to drool.

ID: Daniel Henney
Crush Date: 2007-2008
Claim to Celebrity:
Actor, model, passable singer
How we Met: He's "Mr. Perfect." At least, in the movies. ;) For some reason, I liked the movie "Seducing Mr. Perfect" so much. (He's the leading man.) I watched some other stuff with him in it, too...though I'm sad to say that our relationship came to an abrupt end when I totally lost all respect because I found out he lied about having a degree. He's cute without it--no need to lie.

ID: Jerry Yan
Crush Date: 2006-2007; 2011
Claim to Celebrity: Actor, boy band member, model
How We Met: He was "pineapple-head." How cute. :)

Seriously...he's so dreamy. I used to have wallpaper of him on my laptop. It was a still I'd captured from one of the series I saw him in. Jerry is better than Ben & Jerry's for boy drama therapy. 

ID: Channing Tatum
Crush Date: 2006-2007
Claim to Celebrity: Actor, model
How We Met: I met him and was over him before he was Sexiest Man Alive, I'll have you know. I first saw him in Step Up. He's got some mad dance skillz. And I will even admit (though I cringe while doing so) that I watched She's the Man -- twice. (!)

ID: Richard Armitage
Crush Date: 2006-Present
Claim to Celebrity: Actor, passable singer
Nickname: Ricardo Armitoggy.
How We Met: I saw his "brooding" face on the cover of North & South and thought...wow. This guy is so unattractive. And then by the end of the movie, I had completely been won over and thought he was basically the hottest thing since sunburns. I really liked that he did his own singing for The Hobbit, as well. (I even think he'd look good as a 'full' dwarf...that's how good looking he is.) 

ID: Hugh Jackman
Crush Date: Ever since X-Men came out
Claim to Celebrity: Actor, singer

How We Met: X-Men. This is a heavy-duty crush. I haven't seen Les Mis yet, but I've seen many of his other movies, including the ill-advised Australia (which would have been fine if they'd left the last hour off.) I even dig his blond haired, "Oklahoma!" singing look. My crush on him will probably never fizzle unless he and his wife split because he cheats on her.

ID: Tom Welling
Crush Date: 2001-2008
Claim to Celebrity: Actor, model

How We Met: He's Superman. Of course we met. Of course he liked me better than Lois Lane or that annoying Lana character.
He just looks better and better. Did you know he used to be a construction worker? And he saved someone from a mugging once. Maybe he's a real life superman.

ID: Derek Jeter
Crush Date: 1997-2007
Claim to Celebrity: Professional Athlete
How We Met: Oh, Derek. I first laid eyes on your actual person on June 24, 2004. It was at Camden Yards. Kenny Lofton was leadoff hitter. I was spouting nonsense about your ridiculous contracts to my roommate. You got up and I told you that you were going to hit a home run, just for me, over the middle of the back fence. And you know what...you did it. I'd been a crushed fan for a long time, but that just sealed the deal. PS: Everyone is happy they didn't bump you to give A-Rod your slot at SS. We all know he doesn't quite deserve it. That's not very kind of me, but it's true nonetheless.


My celebrity crush list is a little longer than that, of course. I just wanted to do the ones that I have crushes on now, or who aided me through my graduate school journey. There are many people who didn't quite make the cut. Maybe I'll list them out another time, when I feel the urge to update my CCC.

[Not] Only In My Dreams

I dreamed I was talking to a guy I had been on a few dates with. In my dream, I knew the dates had taken place some months (perhaps even years earlier, and I knew that he had told me that he was not interested in me in that way after a few dates, but that we had remained on friendly (or so I thought) terms. In my dream,  he was telling me again, and asked me if I knew what he meant. I met his gaze directly and said I did in fact know what he meant.
He brought up the old conversation, as if somehow, because I was now sitting in the car with him with the engine stopped, cold seeping through my toes, I hadn't gotten the message the first time. He looked at me very intently and asked me again if I knew what that meant. (I was a little confused -- although in the dream I remembered that since the past conversation we had been in loose, cordial contact, I hadn't seen him since and I never made any overtures--in short, I had Behaved Appropriately.) And, like an idiot, I said I could. At the time, dream-me wanted to preserve good feeling. After all, I liked this guy -- enough that I had actually not wanted to stop dating him. But I felt like I was lying. I said I could...not that I was going to. I said I could...not that I would be able to right then and there.

He continued, as if he could sense my internal struggle, emphasizing that he would:
 - never want to kiss me,
 - never want to hold my hand,
 - never want to date me,
 - never want to marry me, and, most assuredly,
 - never want to look at me in wonderment and awe as he held our baby.

There was raw earnestness and honesty in his face. I could tell he believed he was "doing the right thing" by making things abundantly clear for me. I felt my heart crack, but I couldn't look away. I knew he thought he cared about me, but not in that way. My heart beat wildly in my chest; I felt my face suffuse in a telltale blush as I pinched my calf just by the knee and struggled to master my body's reactions to this news.

Again, he asked me if I could accept what that meant.

I snapped, emotionally. I did not feel at all that right then and there
in that moment
in that car
with his eyes boring into me
and my hands feeling clammy
and my strength of will keeping me from uttering even one sound of pain
and my eyes blinking just once
as I demanded that my body not cry, not cry, not cry
at the injustice that I was being forced to yet again acknowledge that I could really accept what that meant (infused with all the bitterness and vitriol I could muster).

I reminded myself that I had makeup on. Makeup is the code word for "armor against crying." It just adds insult to injury when your mascara runs. So I refused to humiliate myself.

He went on...and on. Repeating himself over and over. Making it abundantly clear, in and out, through and through: he was not interested, he cared about me, but not like that. I felt like he was batting raquetballs made of diamond, etched with Valentine word candy-esque phrases, onto the wall of my chest...and he was in good shape, so it wasn't painless.

"I care," drilled one ball. An "I never..." ball dribbled into the corner after resoundingly smacking into my heart. "I don't want to hurt you" hit a bulls-eye. "I want to keep you in my life" whizzed past at record-breaking speed.

Dream-self was hurt. It was clear that up until this point, dream-me had still liked the guy, but had in fact realized that he wasn't interested in her/me, and had let all but a tiny, occasional mirage of that way feeling evaporate.

Zingers continued to flow, jabbing into my heart with unerring accuracy. It was like dream guy was ruthlessly squashing any bit of good feeling I had toward him, methodically erasing all good-will, spoiling every memory, and creating only shock and hurt to fill the gap.

I woke up, feeling clammy inside and out.

I closed my eyes and as I dozed in and out, I played out the rest of the dream in my head: I lost the urge to cry. An emptiness bloomed inside me, great and terrible. After the emptiness, a curious calm crept over me. I looked at him. Really looked at him. And I realized that he wasn't the person that I thought he was, and that I didn't need to accept his assessment of me, and I didn't need to try to be nice to him, and I definitely didn't need to twist myself into an emotional pretzel to satisfy any ill-conceived "need" to keep him in my life.

That was when I undid my seat belt, opened the door, collected my purse, and walked away without looking back. I had nothing else to say to a person who would be so thoughtless that it was cruel, and tell me he wanted me to stick around for more of the same. I heard him calling to me, pleading. But my footsteps continued without pausing.

And my awake self is oh-so-glad I walked away.

Van Gogh

I used to wonder why you tried to cut your ear off.
Now that I have been infected for eight weeks, I know.
It starts as an ache, spreads to an itch, shuts your canal.
And that, my friend, is just the beginning of the show.

If it was just the hearing loss, or the bright red burn,
or the gooey ick, or the overwhelming fulness,
or even two of these foes conjoined in impishness
That would be one thing. But it's more than that, isn't it. 

It's the feeling that you've been dragged through the mud for miles
day after day, neverending grinding of life's stones
A slow, seemingly endless slog, framed by fitful sleep
episodic bursts so brief you think you dreamed them up.

So, Vincent (hope you don't mind the informality)
I'm here to tell you: I know. I care. I sympathize!
I dream of microscopes attached to tiny vacuums
The suction so sweet, the relief so complete...oh, rapture!

From the painting, I can see you tried to bandage yours.
I'm trying an alternate treatment method: so far
I s'pose it's an improvement, but just can't "git 'er done."
Waiting for the ick to end is proving very hard.

Dear Ear

(Please sing this in your head to the symphony that "If I had Words To Make A Day for You" -- sung by Farmer Hoggett in Babe -- is based off of.)

If I had words to make you hear for me
I'd string them into a strong melody
It would be soft and warm, encouraging
To not irritate, but be so soothing.

I'd sing you a song of hope for the best
Of longing for nights of undisturbed rest.
Of my dream that one day you'll clear for me
So I won't spend my life with ENT(s).

My song would show you I mean business
Your failure causes me nothing but stress
I know you really want to help me out
Please do so before I begin to shout.

Oh ear I love you, yes I really do
I'm just sick and tired of this--aren't you?
We'll both be better off without this yuck.
So to you and me I wish best of luck.

One day we will both be triumphant, ear!
Nights will be for sleeping, and I will hear
The whole of each word that is said to me
Repeats and ringing will not torture me.

Prezzies for Prez Day

My longtime bestie, EAS, came to visit for a long weekend. It seemed like the time flew by, and it wasn't really a long weekend at all. We did most of the fun stuff Portland has to offer in February AND managed to be super productive otherwise, as well.

I left work a bit early on Friday because I checked the weather and found that although it was great weather, the rest of the weekend was going to be abysmal, weather-wise, so we needed to go do the First Thing on the Portland Bucket List:

Pittock Mansion

There are so many windows in this place. <-- And the view! Oh, so amazing. This is the view of the mansion. -->
 The big bay window is the music room. Two of the ladies of the house studied music in PA. The original Steinway and a concert grand harp are in the room, along with some cool paintings. (None had cows, however, so obviously they weren't that cool.)



The old man definitely liked his bath time. His bathroom was huge! It had a tub and another smallish tub -- perhaps it was just for washing feet? Not sure... and it had a shower with at least five valves...one of which was a bidet, which shot up from the bottom, and one was a jetted stream.

--> It's all about perspective. Tasty snack! Loads of vitamins/minerals.

Then we went to get take-out from House of Teriyaki. We both got the spicy chicken because that's what Yelp! said was good. Em wanted to call in advance. I voted no. I have been having trouble with my ear (see Glue Ear post) and I didn't want to try to talk to someone whose native language wasn't English and try to order food. We should have called because it took seemingly forever, but we both have an aversion to calling people so we went and sat and waited. It was fine. :)

 We had a genius for waiting in the longest line possible several times throughout the weekend:

Line #1:  Marco's for brekke. (I liked it a lot better than Fat City.) Em got an avocado bacon scrambly thingie <-- while I got a burrito with spicy black bean chili in it <--. I have never had black bean chili for breakfast before. It was good!

Line #2: Voodoo, for donuts.  We approached the line, determined to come back later when it was shorter, and then it was even LONGER when we came back. We bit the bullet. Em read the paper (free) while I did the crossword puzzle. In the rain. We discussed the pros and cons of mandatory water fluoridation, how soon sex offenders should be able to get off the list, and determined that Voodoo should really have menus posted in the windows instead of just online. We're cool and serious like that.  I guess we were just keeping Portland weird...-->

Lan Su Chinese Gardens

Then we went to the Chinese gardens. --> I'd never been before. Yet another bucket cross-off! This is hard to describe...but the Chinese gardens are so...Chinese...and the Japanese gardens are so...Japanese. Although I have been to neither country, I could tell the difference in the feeling of the culture by how the plants were arranged, the buildings, etc. It was a really odd sensation. It was like because I know the Chinese and Japanese people I know, by visiting the gardens, I was able to make what felt like fairly accurate extrapolations.

We saw the yo-yo team do some cool tricks, and also saw a lion dance and got completely soaked. In between, I smelled some Drama Queens <--  (no, I'm not making it up...that's the actual name of the tree), and had our sign written in calligraphy by an old man.

(As a side note, it's amazing to me that although we are less than 24 hours apart in age, we are so very different. I jabber, she listens and nods sagely. I rush into things, and she is calm and steady as a rock. (With an occasional girly squeal. ;) ) So much for astrological signs!

Here I am standing in front of the waterfall with my sign <--. BTW I love the shirt I was wearing. Slate blue chamois. A true make-out shirt* if there ever was one.  Below is what looked like a blueberry tree. And also some sparkly red flowers. These, the Drama Queens, and the flowers just starting to bloom (next row) were almost the only blooming things in the entire garden.

 
<--This has a bunch of thorns on the ends. It honestly reminded me of the hedge Maleficent puts up with her creepy green staff (by the way, Sleeping Beauty is amazing), with the thorns and the variegated coloration. It reminded me of a muted version of what the hedge looked like when she started burning it down after she turned into a dragon. My, Prince Phillip sure is dashing, and Samson sure is smart! :)

Then we went to get dim sum. (Em had never had it!) Our hands were so cold we just held the tea cups and shivered for a bit. 

Sunday, we made chicken noodle soup with daikon and mushrooms and green beans and carrots and celery and chicken, of course. We did the stock from scratch. It was yum. We also attempted to quilt.


Japanese Gardens 



Monday we went to the Japanese gardens (it was free. Whee! It was awesome, but in a way I wish we had gone on a different day because the gardens are so much more peaceful when you're with fewer people.)  Not much was in bloom, but the sheer variations of the color green within the garden was absolutely mind-boggling. 

OMSI:
Where we held on for our lives (or at least, simulated doing so with varied effects -- I only made it three seconds), saw a duct tape canoe, built mini houses to withstand fake tornadoes, and determined that it doesn't matter if you run or walk in the rain. Oh. And we tried our hand at the old whisking away the tablecloth and without disturbing the dishes trick. We did pretty awesome at that one! I had my doubts that I could do it, but on my first try only one little flower vase knocked over. Go Me!

And we went to see what I call the Baby exhibit. I think that everybody who is considering having a baby should go through the exhibit and look carefully at the fetuses there. It gave me goosebumps. It's so much work to grow a baby inside of you! Babies are so complex. When they're halfway to being born they already have most of what they need in order to be a success. The fine downy hair on their heads, the expressions on their faces...each baby is a miracle and undertaking such an endeavour should not be done lightly!

Then I drove Em to the airport. It had been clear all day, but as soon as I dropped her off the rain started to fall. It seemed fitting that the sky was crying in withdrawal as she went away. It was such a great visit -- I'm so glad she came.