Yogurt Elves

There is an elf in my grocery store. I presume it is the same elf that adores peach yogurt and leaves the blueberry behind (see earlier post).

I say this because on Saturday when I went to the groc (as W would say) to get a few things, I wanted to pick up some of my favorite brand of Greek yogurt: Fage (which, as it says on the label, is pronounced "fAy-uh"), but I am picky and I only like the stuff made with whole milk (they call it Total). It's absolutely divine. It's usually uber expensive, but sometimes they go on sale - individual servings (which are really like 4 servings for me) for $1. So I always swing by the yogurt half-aisle to look for it - but now I always approach with caution, because for nine out of the last ten times, when I arrive on the scene, the Fage Elf has been there. Apparently this elf is on a high-fat, high-protein diet, because he/she takes the total of the Total and there is never any left for me. Seriously. There's 2%, and nonfat, but never Total. All I want is plain yogurt. But this elf continually denies me! And I've had it. >: #   ---> angry face.

I even vary the times I go to the grocery store, and the days of the week, just to see if I can catch the elf out...or at least beat it to the yogurt punch...to no avail.

Last week I even resorted to buying a sort of half-serving that had a compartment of honey in it (they have fruit ones, too-and unsurprisingly, there is always plenty of blueberry [see previous post]). There was only one left. I even went so far as to mention it to my grocery manager. I even told him about my firm belief in the Fage Elf that was out to ruin my life. (It's Cap Hill, so I can get away with that. Also, I didn't use the phrase "ruin my life" - but I did mention my belief in the existence of the elf.)

So I was eyeing the greek yogurt section, despairing inside at the lack of Fage, and refusing to compromise my tastebuds for 2% (It's 80% as good. But why settle for 80% when if the darned elf would just give up, you could have 110% tastebud bliss?), when a lady walked up and picked out four cartons of another brand, and when she saw me eyeing her, she raved about how delicious it was. I inwardly laughed, as that's something I would do--buy a zillion cartons of something and give an on-the-spot groc recommendaiton. Unsurprisingly, she took no blueberry, and there were several blueberry cartons left...and not much else. Maybe she was the yogurt elf of the other brand! I thought. So, because I can't let the elves win, I found myself reaching out to put a carton of the substitute in my basket, on her recommendation...I think I took the last honey.

Sorry, blueberry yogurt, you're still not loved.

Not even by the yogurt elves.