streaks

On Wednesday night I put some bones in to make broth with. On Thursday night I made soup. I was chopping up some onion and after only two cuts my eyes started watering. I didn't even dice the onions at all - just sliced them into huge chunks, and my eyes were streaming by the time I was through.

I'd forgotten that I'd put on mascara at work. I'm so used to not wearing makeup that this business of wearing it has led to a few embarrassing situations - in my book, far more embarrassing than not wearing it.

Anyway, I was feeling kind of sad anyway, so it seemed perfect that I should have the excuse of the onion to cry.

TANGENT: Two weeks ago I cut onion on purpose so I could have an excuse to cry. I guess if you see me in the store toting a bag of onions, it's a pretty safe bet I'm going to be an epic mess of misery in the very near future and I might need you to grab me and give me some sound advice and make me put the onions down.

I went to the store, intent on zooming in and out. (I'd used all the onion, but I guess the good news is that I didn't have "onion" on my list - though in retrospect, I probably should have put it there...) Normally I don't even pay attention to anything except the produce when I'm in the store and I don't expect people to pay attention to me either, but this time, I'd been in the store for all of two minutes before I started getting looks. I was in "groc mode" and didn't want to bother to interpret, but after a few more minutes of more looks I put my hand on my face and realized that there was a trail of grime on my cheek.

Great. I had no idea how I looked - no clue if there were two blackish brown streaks down my cheeks or if all I could feel was residue and I was really fine. I swiped at my face, and sure enough, little bits of black came off on my fingertips. I cleaned up as best I could, forgetting (of course) that there actually was a compact in my purse...and after that I looked down at myself. I suddenly had this nightmare that I'd left the house undressed. Or at least, seriously underdressed. I guess that's the good thing about winter in the NW - you don't have to worry if you put on clothes or not, because it's so cold you'd immediately notice if it weren't the case. But I panic easily sometimes when I'm already in a self-conscious situation, which of course makes the situation even worse.

In one of my all-time favorite anime series, the girl's mentor (because of course her mother passed away when she was very young, as happens to almost all anime characters) was teaching her about applying makeup. She said makeup is like armor - if you're wearing it, you can't cry or the mask will be cracked and they (the enemy) will know that you are weak. Seems like an anti-protection, like...why put something on your face if it's a giveaway that something is wrong and you can't control it?

Beware of makeup. Beware of makeup streaking. Beware of venturing out into the world with makeup streaks you didn't know you had. Beware of strong onions.