random and updates

I'm mad because I had a procedure done at the beginning of April last year and they just billed me for it last week. The amount is several hundred dollars, which would have changed my taxes considerably. I'm ridiculously peeved -- it's bad business, it represents Big Bad Healthcare in my mind, it's irritating to receive a bill so long after, and it's tied to a source of major stress in my life - a condition I have been spending hundreds of dollars and tens of hours on trying to get assessed, only to come up with a big fat nothing.

I'm going to try and remedy that situation next week, because the pain is becoming nigh on unbearable, but the combination of taxes, big money, and being tied to something else I'm already frazzled and frayed about is making an already bad situation worse.

I have a very thoughtful sister who went to Grandma's house and picked a few things for me to have as keepsakes. She asked very excellent questions and was most helpful and kind, as of course, is Grandma, who is making many hard decisions and is letting go of her house.

It's interesting how we need things and how we can get attached to them, and have so many feelings over them. I try not to get overly invested in things, but sometimes it's really hard. There is a box that I have tried to go through several times with my husband to decide what I want to keep from my "former" life and each time I just get frustrated and the box goes back in the eaves. Maybe I should just donate the whole thing without even looking inside next time I am tempted to go through it.

I won two haircuts at a service auction, which will both be used to trim N3's surfer hair. I can't call them locks, as that implies curls or wave in my mind. His hair is stick-straight, as is his father's. It's very unforgiving hair to cut, and he is like me in that he is afraid of going to new hairstylists. I have decided that the person who cuts both our hair gives satisfactory but not great cuts and that I will just not care as much about how my hair looks now that I have landed myself a HH. It's taken a long time to even start to get me convinced, but now I am well on my way. I never knew that I liked the "frills" part of a haircut so much - the consultation time, the shampoo, the blowout. Maybe someday when I have more disposable income I'll go back to it.

I had a neurological problem in my left thigh but I changed a few things and now it is doing much better, though my lower back is still really bothering me.

I started watching Poldark and have exclaimed to HH at least seven times, "I'm not sure I can keep watching this!" but yet I love the camera work and the lighting and the story is so gripping that I don't really want to stop. I have only seen through Season 1, but I'm telling you now, if Demelza dies, I'm out. (Don't tell me if she does. I don't want to know.) What kind of name is Demelza, anyway? I wonder if she ever got called "Melza." Her brothers probably called her "Smelza" just to bug her. (If I were a brother, I would probably stoop to such low levels, but maybe her brothers are better men than I am.)