surged

About the time I got married, L came home one day and said, "My teacher's getting surged!" He meant that she was getting hip surgery. She was gone for a month. It was amazing how much better he got along with his substitute teacher than he did with his regular teacher. His behavior reports came back glowing each day.

Yesterday, I got surged. My gums were scary thin. You could see the little veins in them and the roots of my teeth were able to be seen through the gums. It was honestly a little gross. So I went to get it fixed. They used some of the tissue from my mouth for a couple of the spots, but the rest of it they got from donors. I have to eat soft food for a week, and talk minimally. No nuts or popcorn for at least a month. Even noodles are hard to swallow. I feel like I have to bolt things down. I have been mostly trying to stay with eggs as a protein source and focusing on keeping my sugar to a minimum. Turns out a lot of soft foods are sugary, even the fructose. Also, no straws.

It's amazing how much more smoothly surgery recovery goes when you do not get anesthesia. I was pleasantly surprised by how un-fuzzy my head was post-surgery.

I need to take it easy for awhile.

Upsides:

I was laying dead on the bed and we had family prayer. L said it. He said, "And please bless Mom, so that she can have no dreams. Or good dreams. But no nightmares, please. That will raise her heart rate, and we can't have that." (I need to keep my heart rate as low as possible and avoid talking for at least 3 days. You have no idea how hard that is for me.) I smiled. He sure loves me.

N3 was trying to convey his feelings to me, as well. He said, "You're my BFFAEAEAEA." I raised an eyebrow - no talking - and he said, "Best friend forever. And ever. And ever and ever and EVER!"

My kids warm my heart.

All the staff at the doctor's office exclaimed over how well HH was taking care of me, as well. It was like they had never seen a solicitous husband. Well, now they have. :) But he's mine!

eclipse and ash

A few weeks ago, what seemed like the entire United States was in a frenzy over an eclipse of totality that would be going across much of the nation. Many drove far and camped long and ran out of gas, etc. etc. to be able to experience it. Those who saw it said it was a life-changing experience -- mostly that it was gorgeous and awe-inspiring, unlike anything they had ever seen. I was surprised that so many of them reported not being able to control themselves during totality - screaming, running about, acting strangely, hugging random strangers...

Where I was, it was in excess of 80% totality. The light seemed "dirty," and I found I was somewhat unsettled in my spirit. It wasn't that I felt depressed, but there seemed to be a suppression of sorts of both my body and the earth's -- difficult to describe. I can only imagine how much more difficult to describe it would have been if I had actually seen totality. As it was, the temperature went down a few degrees, and there were crescent-shaped shadows on the pavement from the leaves.

The other thing people commented on after the eclipse was that everyone shared with everyone else. Many made a big deal about social walls coming down and equality for everyone, even if it was just for the space of a few minutes. People who had protective glasses were sharing freely with those who did not plan ahead. (I was the recipient of some of this generosity, as I definitely did not plan ahead.)

Fast forward: yesterday, I went out right after breakfast and the sun was a big ball of gleaming orange-red hanging low in the sky. Ash was "snowing" on my car. The air in the house seems close and hot. We dare not open the windows for prudence of black lung - many of us in the house have sensitive lungs, and we do not want to encourage any problems.

We're fairly close to some fires. It is sad how much is burning. It feels like the spirit of the earth is sick. I've never really felt like the earth had a spirit - more like my spirit interacted with the beautiful things in the earth. I guess I failed to recognize it's a two-way street. It's like the earth is sick and its internal defenses are down; no immune system is left. It's like it's throwing up - too much water in some parts of the world, and not enough in others. I miss the order of the days. I hardly know what season it is because the light is orange all day and the grass is the driest, brownest, most ugly thing I have ever seen. I didn't even stir one step outside today because I simply did not want to be inundated with the ick factor.

It has been too hot or too busy to go for a walk last week, and this week I was so looking forward to some rambles. It's really disappointing to have to stay inside when all I want to do is go outside and stretch my legs and my mind.

Here's to fewer fires, storms lessened, and to bright, normal sunshine. No more dirty light!